This is an email that I’m sure most of you got some time last week, and if you didn’t here it is:
If Obama actually wins this thing by the end of tonight, there will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be afraid that an Obama presidency will usher in the end of days. They’ll be watching us on November 5th (the day after the election) for “signs of the end” times. To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid – at least for the first few days:
1) No crying, hugging or shouting “Thank you, Lord” – at least not in public.
2) No high-fives – at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses.
3) No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters.
4) No calling in sick on November 5th [tomorrow]. They’ll get nervous if too many of us don’t show up.
5) We’re allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing, just try to keep from grinning hard.
6) No singing loudly, “We’ve Come This Far By Faith” (it WILL be acceptable to hum softly).
7) No bringing barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chitterlings AT ALL! This may make us seem too ethnic.)
8) No leaving Kool-aid packages at the water fountain.
9) No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement.)
10) Please no “Moving On Up” theme song music from The Jeffersons (we are going to try to remain humble.)
One thought on “UNN Early Edition: For Those Uppity Negroes Who Voted…”
#4 is a priority – even if you stayed up all night. Double strength coffee will get you started. A six-pack of Mountain Dew might carry you through the day.