Another Lesson I Learned from Chris Brown and Rihanna

So, some time last week I was on Yahoo Instant Messenger and one of my friends sent me yet another YouTube Chris Brown and Rihanna clip.  Check it out.

This most certainly wasn’t the first and only popular YouTube clip of these two circulating the internet.

Well, the second one was the first one I saw and the next day I saw it posted on one of the blogs I frequent.  Now I laughed at the Mortal Kombat one and sent it to all of my friends on my YIM list, and I hooted and holla’d when I saw the first one.  But then in the midst of the absolute laughing that I had, I thought to myself, Are we really lampooning domestic violence?

In the black community, we’ve had very high profile domestic violence cases over the years.  First to mind is the whole Ike and Tina mess, Mike Tyson and Robin Givens alleged spousal abuse, the probable spousal abuse from one Orenthal James Simpson to his now deceased wife, and more recently the Fool Fest that is Juanita Bynum and her former spouse Bishop Thomas Weeks.  The whole Juanita Bynum spectacle garnered such magnanimity that Professor Jonathan Walton wrote an open letter to Bynum that went viral–not a YouTube video.

I emailed a colleague the first YouTube video and his response was that he lost all respect for Rihanna and of course for Chris Brown because she went back to him–and he added it probably had more to do with PR purposes than anything else.  Well, I’m more or less agreeing with my colleague on this one.  How are we supposed to take this whole thing seriously since it turned into the biggest media story of that week?  She went back to him–and they went to P. Diddy for counseling!!!!

Take care of ya own kids bruh and let Chrianna work out their own problems!!

I think these lampoon videos are indicative of just how surreal celebrity life is.  No one lampoons the stories we hear of women beaten or killed by abusive spouses on our local late night news.

That would just be unconscienable.

But, I think the ability to make such intricate comedic clips proves my gut feeling:

I don’t think Chris Brown beat Rihanna.

Yeah, I said it.

Somehow we all believed that OJ beat Nichole Brown and that “he did it.”  We know and believed Ike knocked the hell out of Tina, and made her “eat the cake” as well.  We even believe that Juanita Bynum had gotten stuck by Bishop Thomas Weeks (although maybe provoked to hit her).  Somehow, deep down, I don’t think most of us, from the teeny-boppers to adults who actually paid enough attention, actually think Chris Brown did this.  It doesn’t fit his M.O. as we see in the public.  Most of us have this clean cut image of the guy who was even on Sesame Street singing with Elmo.  A woman beater–a Rihanna woman beater–we just don’t believe it.

Not to mention that he had to have been one helluva driver to beat her while driving, I’m just not convinced about the veracity of the whole thing as presented by the media.  Am I denying she was beat, not totally, but um, anyone seen “Thin Line Between Love and Hate” ?

Believe it or not, I still haven’t seen this movie from beginning to end, but Chris Brown is um–Chris Brown.  And from all accounts, he “runs it” with a lot of people.  And I’ve personally heard with both sexes, but this is Atlanta, erryone is gay is down here if you let some people tell the story.  Regardless, the two main stories are that either Rihanna had confronted Chris with a text message from another chick or that she all of a sudden had herpes.  Both are unconfirmed, but both involve relationship infidelity. 

Now, if you go to minute 4:20 you’ll see one possible scenario:

No one EVAR talks about women slapping the hell out of men.

Not excusing a man going postal on a woman for whatever reason, but what homegirl was wrong, but still indicative of how many women react toward men when infidelity occurs.  Not to mention the plethora of problems behind the philosophy that anytime a black man doesn’t want a black woman that it’s because the black man can’t handle a**clears throat**

strong black woman

But that’s another post.

Well, I’m not fully saying that Rihanna inflicted those bruises herself per the clip at about 8:30, but damn, these various LA suburb and Hollywood police departments deal with celebrities all the time, and know how to be discreet–but magically Rihanna’s picture is the one that gets leaked out. 

All of this just doesn’t sit right.

And what do we say if she actually inflicted those wounds herself?

Did I mention she went back to the guy?

In the post Chrianna fallout, what do yo have to say about the whole foolishness?  Do you think Chris Brown really did hit her?  If he did, was she merely the victim of what happens to many other women who feel trapped–even though Rihanna is far from being trapped in this relationship.  Are these lampoon videos appropriate or should we take them for face value and just laugh?

Keep it uppity and keep it truthfully radical, JLL

6 thoughts on “Another Lesson I Learned from Chris Brown and Rihanna

  1. Hello there,

    I will also assume that prior to asking those questions, you heard from the Lord.

    Since you are in seminary and will be in ministry full-time one day, I ask you to truly answer honestly:
    Would YOU show those videos to the teens of your church if you were pastor?


    Would you hoot and holla if the woman in the video were your own mother, sister, grandmother?

    Really? You would?

    And if your mother looked EXACTLY like those photos on the internet that displayed Rihanna’s face, would you ask, “Ma, did that dude REALLY hit you or did you do something first?”

    Would you really ask?

    This is the thing…

    If you won’t ask those questions if your own mother or sister looked battered with fist prints on her face, then why are the questions being asked of Rihanna?

    Yes… some women ARE violent with men. However…you are a man and even if I slap you or punch you…you STILL have a decision of how to respond. No one is forcing you to return violence with violence.

    This nullifies the issue of “well who hit who first?”

    Rihanna is young and foolish and she will learn from her mistakes as she matures.

    There are plenty of brothas who went crawling back to women who slept around, emasculated them, and made complete fools of them in front of others. There are plenty of women out there who made wrong decisions to return to a relationship with an abuser.

    Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!

    1. @BWBTT

      Actually, I probably would show the teens at my church and ask them what they thought and start a discussion over it.

      As far as my mother or sister are concerned, I think it’s a slightly unfair question and highly situational. If my father, or some man had a habit of hitting my mother, why would I think to ask, I already know the answer. Moreover, Rihanna is a celebrity, my mother isn’t. As I said in the movie, some women, not all, but SOME women self-inflict wounds just to get attention. I’m not saying that this is the express case with Rihanna, but I think it’s a fair question to ask.

  2. Wow.

    Because some guy “looks” (or should I say ‘packaged’ ) a certain way, you’re seriously questioning whether he was capable of beating another person down? Because dude looks too nice or clean cut or whatever, you’re willing to cast aspersions on the woman in question? Really?

    I love how black people have contorted this thing eight ways til Sunday for nearly two months now, doing/saying anything, anything to explain this situation away as the woman’s fault. First, she provoked him. Then, it was that she gave him herpes. Or was it that she hit first?

    And now, now, she inflicted the wounds on herself? Like I said, wow.

    I love you, cuz, but this is just foul. But not as foul as this pathological need the black community seems to have to look the other way on the issue of domestic violence…towards women, and towards children. Women had it coming to ’em, and little kids just need to be beat to be raised up right.

    And the cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on…

    1. @Lehia

      I just simply said his image in public didn’t match with him beating Rihanna. As a result of that it made this a tough pill to swallow. Whether this had been an incident with Rihanna or even just getting into a fight period, it wouldn’t have matched.

      And, yes, I’m going there as far as calling the woman out: why is it taboo for us to mention it? We act as though it’s 100% impossible for it to be the case that Rihanna or any woman could not or has not inflicted wounds just to get back at a lover.

      Why is it so hard to see the woman as a perpetrator?

      Just because one chooses to see the woman as a possible aggravator or instigator isn’t turning a blind eye to a pathology of violence, but rather looking at it from a different light. It comes off to me as a double standard. Whereas many womanist or feminist viewpoints will argue for equal rights, it’s only equal rights on their terms. To me, when the formerly oppressed finally get their voice heard, they never want to see themselves as an aggressor in a situation. Albeit they’re usually in the minority as far as aggression is concerned (meaning, I’m MORE than willing to admit that probably in most cases men are the main aggressors), but fair, is fair.

  3. Rihanna is a big girl. When the relationship was “developing” you could clearly see she was the agressor in the relationship and running behind Chris – she followed him everywhere. She is older than Chris Brown and from the photos I have seen (and there have been plenty) she forced herself on a young man with hormones raging.

    He was through with her. She told him she would ruin his career if she couldn’t have him nobody could. She just seems to fit that m.o. as that type of bully chick.

    Chris Brown has been totally clowned my this no singing model.

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