Hmmm, round about January 3rd, at about 10 o’clock Central Time, I did hear a symphony.  It wasn’t the same symphony that Keith Olbermann was talking about following Sen. Barack “I Shoot Threes Only” Obama acceptance speech, but it was from the same man nonetheless.

I’ve already written how much that speech sent me over and just the high that I experienced following that first speech following the Iowa Caucuses, the same night that Sen. Hillary “I Eat Nails For Breakfast” Clinton made a run to the local drugstore to buy Immodium AD because she starting to shit in her pants because she actually saw this thing slipping away from her.  And I guess the Immodium AD had a side effect that resulted in watery eyes hence her crying at some local dive in New Hampsh!%.

But as my friends were sending constant text messages during Obama’s speech that cold night in Iowa, I was receiving texts from my other church friends “Cue the Hammond B3”  and “SAYYYYY YEAAAAAHHH!” and had officially sermonized his speech.

Well, that got me to thinking….how would Inauguration Day 2009 look if Sen. Barack Obama was to be sworn in.

So in my sanctified imagination, I came up with the following.

Choral Introit:

First, just because it’s Howard University  and my love for all things Washington, D.C. includes Howard, and most people who know me personally know that if I had to do it all again, I’d prolly go to Howard, but the Howard Gospel Choir, known as HGC would have to get the gig.  After the crappy Sousa sounding song of “Hail to the Chief” played for the president was done, we’d commence church.  I see HGC singing “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.”   God knows what arrangement this is, but it sings and it’s the same one most HBCU concert choirs sing from.

Invocation:

This is where it gets tricky because this was supposed to be the time when Jeremiah “I Say What I Wanna Say When I Wanna Say It” Wright was suppsosed to be in primetime. 

Well, that didn’t work out right.

**scratches his head**

And it can’t even go to Rev. Otis “I Wanna Leave Trinity, But I Can’t” Moss III  because Rev. Michael “F*&% tha Police” Pfleger just made sure of that with his dig at Hillary Clinton back during the primaries prompting, as AB says, that Beige Negro to leave Trinity.  So, it would of course have to go to some random pastor.

Among my nominees are:

Cynthia Hale of Ray of Hope Church out here in Decatur “Where It’s Greater,” Georgia because I heard very good things about her invocation at the Democratic National Convention.  My friend informed me that she prayed down the Holy Ghost, but that the delegates really weren’t all that saved in the first place and they just didn’t know how to react to the indwelling of the Holy Ghost so, Rev. Hale just prayed until she got done.  (Let the record show she’s preached NUMEROUS times at Trinity United Church of Christ)

Bishop Charles Blake who’s the presiding bishop of the Church of God in Christ and is also the pastor of West Angeles Church of God in Christ as well.  He’s a well known pastor and preacher, and he’s credentialed as well by none other than The Interdenominational Theological Center here in Atlanta as well.  I think it would interesting to see him “go in” as those who indulge in their Pentecostal proclivities say and “tune up” in the middle of the prayer.

[Editor’s Note:  By the way, there MUST be a Hammond B3 set on the stage of the Capitol Building and I would require at minimum TWO Leslie speakers one on the opposite end of where the organ is sitting.]

Among other names, there are the usual suspects such as Vashti McKenzie, but perhaps we could spice it up and add someone like  Floyd Flake from New York or a  Charles Jenkins of Clay Evans old church back in Chicago.  Or get a woman such as Claudette Copeland or a Gina Stewart.

Although it would just tickle my fancy if they got a super Baptist or Pentecostal person like Jasper Williams or Jackie McCullough who beyond the shadow of a doubt would start tuning up with the prayer.

Announcements

“We welcome you once, we welcome you twice, we welcome you three times in the name of Jesus Christ!”

HAHAHAHA!!

Seriously, I guess this would be the point in the service program where all of the State formalities would take place and I’m quite sure they’re numerous as all get out.  So, this would be the point where the non-colored folk would get their chance to wax on poetic about “such a historic day.”  And I’d be standing WAYYYYYYYYY back almost to 7th Street waiting for them to wrap up so I can hear more from HGC.

Offering

Every once in a while, the preacher at a special service kind of lets loose, and this would be the time that Obama would randomly walk up to the pulpit podium and inform the saints citizens that he was giving out $500 automatic tax refund checks to all who was present.  And then we’d see the following:

HAHAHAHAHA!

Hopefully everything is going on time per the Constiutional Amendment that moved it from March 4th to January 20th at twelve noon, but the said “praise break” may have disrupted the time.  And prolly most white folk there would be wondering “What the hell is going on here?!”

Sermonic Selection

Here, HGC would just wreck the church Mall and sing Thomas Whitfield’s “I Shall Wear a Crown” and just slay everyone in the Spirit.  The song has a high point where people would hopefully would have started going in the gate, and then it comes down with the “Soon as I get home.”  That would be calm enough for Biden to walk up to the podium with said Supreme Court Justice.

Then after the worship chords come to an end after Sen. Joe “I Still Wear A Mullet in 2008” Biden will officially be Vice-President of the United States of America.

Now, knowing HGC, they’ll prolly be in the gate with one or two kids still speaking in tongues and just knowing black folks in general who’ll be standing in the 20 degree weather of DC in January, they’ll still be in the gate as well. 

But, I’m sure the organist’ll know his or her [Hmmm, could we get Elbernita “Twinkie” Clark to be the organist?  I don’t care, just as long as it’s someone who got some COGIC roots] cue as to when to come out of the worship chords and start playing the block chords, pulling out all the drawbars and just ready to go in as Obama walks up to the podium.  Prolly by now it’s past twelve o’clock, making this whole aggregation unconstitutional, but who cares?  Black church folk usually aint worried about the time if the Holy Ghost is present.

So, round about twelve noon, we’ll hear the repeated words of President-Elect Barack Obama say:

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

And trust me, the following will be heard on an organ (just on a MUCH larger scale and with crowds of people dancing to it):

Sermon,  no can’t call it that Inaugural Speech

Apparently there’s some other crap that’s supposed to happen that includes a ceremonial 21-gun salute and ruffle and flourish from the Navy Band and “Hail, Columbia.”

I guess…

But they’d have to wait until we got down shouting.

I know it’d be wishful thinking, but it would be nice if Barack would grab the podium and rare back one good time and let out a good holler, but oh well, I know that’s just wishful thinking.

Invitation to Discipleship Citizenship

I guess this is the equivalent.  I guess you could go real country and have the Mississippi Mass Choir come in and sing “They Got The Word” but it would turn it into a real Baptist service, lol.  Aint nun wrong with that, I have my own Baptist proclivities as well.  But, seeing as how that’s the only song I know of that fits the liturgical bill of the service, might as well go for it!

Benediction

After the closing remarks from whomever, we’d have to close out on “Fare Ye Well.”  That’s another HBCU concert choir tradition.  I don’t know if HGC does it, but I know we did it in Dillard University Concert Choir (under the auspicious and propicious leadership of the pre-Madonna himself, none other than that graduate of Hampton Institute S. Carver Davenport).

And then we’d have someone, whomever at this point cuz we tired shouting, to give a benediction–actually, I would love have Jim Wallis to come and do the benediction.  He’s quite saved in my opinion.

And then the After Party in DC will commence.

Just imagine a joint homecoming for those of us that went to an HBCU–it would be that type of atmosphere in DC for the rest of that week.

I plan to save about $300 dollars just so I can drive, take OFF from school, just to be there in DC on Tuesday, January 20th, 2009 come hell or high water just to be there to see that great coronation.  I know it’s a bit of a messiah complex to make Obama all that comparing him to “Lord of Lords” but we all know that’s a bit of hyperbole being employed.  Nonetheless, it will definitely be a great coronation.

They got the word, 
They got the word,
Oh I’ll be at the great coronation
It’s gonna be held in the middle of the air.

They got the word,
I’ll say yes to Jesus, they got the word,
Then I’ll meet Him in that city built foursquare hmm.

There’s a great coronation coming up
filled with joy and gladness,
there are special guests attending,
it will be all the children of the Lord.
I’ve got a standing invitation,
with all the saints from every nation.

We’ll be there
be there,
be there,
be there,
be there when they crown Him Lord of Lords. 

We are our Father’s children,
one, united, in God, Jesus Christ;
we are on our way to that great coronation,
Where we’ll crown Him Lord of Lords.

Wait ’til I get there, wait ’til I get there.
Wait ’til I get there, wait ’til I get there.
Wait ’til I get there, wait ’til I get there.

Curtains fall, roll is called,
world of sin, marching in.

Crown Him, crown Him,
crown Him, crown Him,
Be there when they crown Him Lord of Lords.

Wouldn’t all of this just be a big and interesting spectacle if it were to take place?  Stay tuned for a future blog to listen to my imaginings to what Obama’s afterparty would look like, or the George “I Don’t Like Black People” Bush’s “Black Tie ‘N Boots” Ball.  Actually, what do you think Obama should name his afterparty?

Keep it uppity and keep it truthfully radical, JLL