I Have No Words: Hurricane Chris Performs for Louisiana State Legislature

Now I lived in New Orleans for a hot second amounting to three years of my life, and it was just kind of common fun to poke fun at the kids from Shreveport, or as they said Port City.  It was a fair number of people from Shreveport that I went to school with down at Dillard and I still keep up with a few of them ’till this day.

Although one of them, who just graduated from Loyola this spring with his Juris Doctorate degree would say that Hurricane Chris, born Chris Dooley, just graduated from high school in 2007, and had already hit the big leagues with his club hit “A Bay Bay” which you can check out here.

Right, pure tomfoolery.

Now I’ve seen a clip of him freestyling and I’m not gonna lie, the brotha had some talent at the mic.  But, I guess after the “death of autotune” and living in this post-Hip Hop era (I mean homeboy was just being born and I was already in kindergarten) or as I’ve aptly called it the Soulja Boy Generation, where conscious rap is underground and this bullcrap is mainstream for the sake of ringtones, Hurricane Chris dropped his latest single “Halle Berry (She’s Fine)” that comes complete with it’s own bootleg dance that I’m sure mimics something else that we’re already doing.

Hell, they have the “Hot Dog” down here in Jacksonville.

So, as I slit my wrists….

….it’s official that someone was actually vying for the spot of the mother of former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, Michigan State Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick.

Honestly, that clip never gets old to me.  I still bust out laughing.

But to see the haunting parallels between Carolyn Kilpatrick and Louisiana State Rep. Barbara Norton.  Homegirl had ZERO poise at the podium.  And then she compared her fool of a godson to being the epitome of a good young black man.  WTF?!?!?  Did she even listen to the lyrics of the song that he went on to perform?!?!?

Check this:

Look at her prettier then Halle and thicker than Janet
She say she like all of my club bangers I be jamming
Told her to bust it open let me see what’s really happnin
She the ship and I’m the captain
I’m tha captain
Booty bigger than the pus

And I’m all the way in your city
I’m from louisianna so you gotta show me how your
City do it for that camera
Make it drop and bring it back to the top
You no amateur
Girl you can give it to me it ain’t nothing I can’t handle
She just got out of the shower smellin like a scented candle
And I’m finna finna?
Sliding off tha mattress
No moving no acting baby this is real action
Beat it up so bad
You be scared to walk past me
I know your halle berry
Baby there’s no acting
I beat it up so bad
You be scared to walk past me for real

She fine den a bitch ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

And yes the opening lines are “Bow bow bow” like a friggin’ dog or something.

And this chick said “You mens know ’bout fine…”  Hell Hurricane Chris sounded more put together than his godmother–aside from the distinct Shreveport drawl.  And “ratchet” was a Louisiana dance back in 2005 that was highly unsexual, but as you can see, it could have connotations that go either way.

I mean did a state legislature really take time in this economic season to stop and do this?  If nothing else, this goes down as another epic fail on behalf of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal who I’m quite sure knew about this foolishness.  Then the other state rep. called out Barbara Norton for being fine.

Am being elitist here or uppity?  I can’t tell.  All’s I know is that this just sounds like, as AverageBro says, a debit to our race.  Cuz it most certainly didn’t advance us anywhere.  Actually, I think I’m just really pissed off that they stop a legislative session to give this boy a commendation when I’m QUITE sure that Louisiana of ALL states has some much more pressing business to attend to.

This was some fried chicken and watermelon ish for sure!

DONE–on so many levels!!

That said….I’m completely done.

Let’s pack up and move to Canada.

Was this an epic fail of Brobdingnagian proportions or am I just blowing this out of proportions?  Does this at all reflect on Bobby Jindal or again and I’m making this bigger than what it really is?

Keep it uppity and keep it truthfully radical, JLL

About these ads

2 responses to “I Have No Words: Hurricane Chris Performs for Louisiana State Legislature

  1. Dude. You were on a roll. But, I agree. This is not just ordinary, everyday foolishness. This is the very height of foolishness. The apex of foolishness. The is the foolishness from which sprang all other foolishness–the very mother of foolishness.

    And I’m still trying to figure out just why would the Louisiana legislature want to have Hurricane Chris come entertain them. I’ve constructed a long list of every plausible reason Hurricane Chris would or should be invited to perform in front of the Louisiana legislature, and none of them make sense. Can you possibly just give me one and then I will not feel so bad.

    At least he wore a nice suit for the occasion. But as the old joke goes, if you want to feel im’potant, you need to look im’potant.

    • @Max

      Seriously…there are no reasons. None under the sun why he should have been doing what he was doing at the State House of Louisiana. So continue to feel bad.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s