Uppity Negro Network™

Okay, it’s 7pm and the first polls are beginning to close out here in the East Coast and we can finally stop talking about polling numbers and actually talk about raw votes–the same ones Hillary Clinton moaned about in the primaries.  Here, the rubber is about to meet the road.

Well, frankly, I’ve always wondered why stop a good thing.  I’m all for computerization in many other fields, but dammit, when it comes to elections, why stop a good thing.  Seriously, the worse thing that happened back in the day was “ballot stuffing” where randomly someone would put a whole bunch of ballots in the same box, but usually it was detectable because of signatures looking the same.  Then in 1895 they introduced that behemoth of a machine with a lever on it.

Well, I’m saying let’s go back to that.

Why?  Because it’s tamper proof.  All it does, with over 20,000 parts, is tabulate the counts and at the end of the day the election judge comes by and records the amount.  Granted, the judge themselves could be sheisty and write down the wrong number.  But let’s be honest, human “error” is always possible in this case.  But at least it wouldn’t be because of faulty machinery.  Seriously, how many times has the power gone out at various locations, or the computer malfunction.  Or at least let’s keep the punch-card ballots.  Just tell people once they punch the ballot, to go back and check their ballot making sure there weren’t any pregnant chads or hanging chads, which come on people, clearly indicates that that person intended to vote for that candidate.

Anywho…

Since it’s so easy to switch out memory cards and reprogram them in favor of one candidate over another, I’m a bit leery–seriously.  At the end of the day, I believe in a paper trail.  Especially in situations like this.  Some states, there is no paper trail with which to check votes if need be.  Even in the case of these electronic machines that only need one memory chip removed and replaced to alter votes, there is no record of even who voted, just a mere tabulation.  At least back in Chicago, when I did the primary vote in Chicago, even though it was computerized, a printed roll of paper was produced on the side to let me check my own votes–and I was on my way.

Someone raised a pertinent question at lunch earlier–when do they count the absentee ballots?  I think each Election Board of Commissioners does it differently, but it’s sometime today because they have to verify the signatures and addresses.  Do I think my absentee ballot was counted?  Yes.  For what it’s worth with Chicago politics, there’s never been any scandal recently about absentee ballots.  Especially not on general elections.  Usually, the dust ups happen in the springtime when Chicago is going through mayoral and aldermanic elections. 

But as the electoral map on CNN finally succumbs to the permancy of dark red and dark blue filling in precinct by precinct, county by county and finally state by state, we’ll see just how it all plays out.  So, not unless I happen to have taken my computer elsewhere to watch the election results and do some semblance of live blogging, I doubt that I’ll be able to give you a hot drop as to who won tonight.  I’m just hoping that by morning we will have known.  Rest assured, I’ll be up watching the results, and at least watching the rally back home in Chicago.  (I mean they’re expecting 1,000,000 people tonight–OMG, Chicago only sees crowds like that of the Fourth of July Fireworks after the Taste of Chicago) and you best cool believe if “that one” actually wins tonight….

**motions to the guy sitting on the Hammond B3 to put me in E-flat**

Used to could say Yes We Can…
but now I can say….
Yes we made it…
Yes we made it…
YEEEEEEEEESSSSSS…YES we made it….

Oh yeah, if you live in the DMV (the DC, Murrah-land or Virginia urreah) could y’all let me know what’s up with the Inauguration stuff–as far as purchasing tickets and what not, such as how much and where to go to pay for ‘em.  Yeah, I’m trying to be in that number come January 20th if all goes as planned.

Keep it uppity and keep it truthfully radical, JLL

Yeah, as everyone knows, I voted absentee ballot and I realised that I missed out, slightly, on a piece of interesting history this election.  I received untold number of text messages from my friends who know just how politically minded I am, about how they voted in the days leading up to the elections.  I awoke this morning around 9:30am with my text message inbox full of forwards admonishing me to vote and also this very funny one:

The Democratic Party is recruiting people to help George Bush pack up his $h!t to go back to Texas.  Will you be available on January 20th?”

And other text messages of my friends waking up at the butt crack of dawn as God is merely yawning wiping the sleep crust out of his eyes, to go stand in line.  And I also received a touching text from my friend Southern Snob who informed me that she wanted to do a lap around the polling place because she encountered a 70 year old man who had never voted in his LIFE down in Tampa, Florida and he just wanted to make sure he got a vote in for Sen. Barack Obama. And then today at lunch as I was telling that story, another man shared that his 76 year old grandmother had never voted before until today either.

Well, I did absentee ballot.

I got a text from COGIC Uppity last Friday night from Houston that he was waiting in line at the Fiesta (food emporium, lol) on South Main (I still can’t imagine a polling place in a supermarket, but ooookaaayyyyy) and just how it felt to wait in line with other folks.  Clearly he was the product of a black church because he texted randomly that he wanted to bust out singing “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing.”

Whatever the case, even my parents did early voting, which was a first for them, and they went down to 43rd and Cottage Grove to the King Rec. Center to stand in some line to vote.

While I did absentee ballot.

Actually, since I’ve been eligible to vote, I’ve always done absentee ballot–I’ve never voted on the “second Tuesday after the first Monday in November” in my assigned precinct back in Chicago.  I used to go many times with my parents, even it was a February or March citywide election, but never as a registered voter.  I never personally experienced the old church mothers with heavy winter coats hanging on the backs of their chairs looking over glasses perched on the tips of their noses flip through the voter registration book 6 inches thick and check the signature against my drivers license (at least now, it’s computerized with voter rolls).

Instead I did absentee ballot.

Yup, black folk out to vote in Southeast DC--only place in the country your vote doesn't count. Go figure.

Even Soul Jonz informed me that it took FIVE HOURS for him to vote in his precinct up in North Fulton County.  I bypassed all of that and just thought how much I HATE standing in lines–even lines at the club, to get food at Wendy’s–I just hate waiting.  I figured Providence knew that absentee ballots were the way to go for me, because standing in line most certainly isn’t.  However, I must admit, the atmosphere that everyone has described at the polling places seems to be something I may have missed out on.

Alright, it’s about 6pm here on the East Coast, y’all shoulda voted by now if you’re reading this.  So, go on ahead and share you’re election story.  I’m quite sure if you did early voting you have SOME story to tell about the people you stood hours in line with.  Go ahead and let your voices be heard.

I was watching The View this morning really just to see what their reaction was to them being lampooned on Saturday Night Live.  The phone rang so I missed a part of that skit, but I thought Kenan Thompson’s playing Whoopi Goldberg was funny.  I noticed, as did Whoopi that Sherri Shepherd wasn’t on the skit, probably because they ran out of black folks.  They haven’t had a black woman since Maya Rudolph quit during the writers strike this past winter. 

I would post the video of the skit, WordPress is a goof more or less allowing me to only post videos from YouTube and Google Videos.

**thinks seriously about going to Blogspot again**

And then they had Satan’s favorite nephew, George Stephanopoulos on the show today and they were talking about Sen. John McCain’s appearance on the show and just how does comedy appeal to voters.  But this was on the heels of an earlier hot topics discussion that stemmed from the table’s less than stellar approval of Gov. Ahhh-nold Schwartzenegger’s redress of his “girly men” comment talking about Obama’s “skinny legs.”  Barbara Walters pointed out that if this had been a woman that that would have been seen as sexist.  (Even with the bone thrown Miz Liz’s way she still couldn’t accept that that would be sexist without going on and on about the liberal media.)

Anywho, they went on to mention how comedians had lampooned Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits of many colors to no end, and how SNL and other comedians are just having a field day with Sarah Palin and her Palin-isms.  Or even pointing out the fact that McCain was a classmate of Moses.  But that Sen. Barack Obama seemingly hasn’t done anything that warranted being funny.

Enter Bill Maher. 

Check out the following clip and for our purposes, you can fast forward to minute 4:20

I really think Bill’s satire is on point though.  Everyone’s afraid to make fun of him, partly because he really hasn’t done anything lampoonable–seriously.  I mean, the guy’s been poised from day one and…yeah…if a comedian tried to do something funny it probably wouldn’t come off well.  And then, the black jokes are the funniest, but if he wins I hope the comedians will feel free, in addition to Bill, to finally make the joke about changing the doorbell to the White House as the theme song to The Jefferson’s “Moving On Up.”  Or feel free to make jokes about having Ludacris over, or mention hosting the White House as an after-party set.  Or the proverbial joke about having a barbecue on the South Lawn.

I personally think they’re all funny.

As Big Man over at Raving Black Lunatic said, a lot of times it has to do with the messenger.  A black person of equal lived experience has a tacit understanding with their audience when saying the word “nigger” and its many derivations.  Just ask Michael Richards.  Be that as it may, and just how much that irks some white folk that their white privilege doesn’t extend to the boundaries of “nigger” (and I pose the question like many others–why do some white folks care that black folks can say it and they can’t?  Why do they want to be able to say it in the first place?) I say go for Obama and make the jokes.  As Maher said, we should able to laugh at our presidents.

By the way, who’s going to play Lady Michelle Obama on SNL if they win tonight.

What do you think?  Do you think comedians should be able to make fun of Obama and put race out there or should they just keep it as it is and not make it a racial thing?

Keep it uppity and keep it truthfully radical, JLL

That’s an acutal quote from Cornel West dropped in an AP story on last Saturday.  I mean, the first major motion picture to have a black man as a president was “Deep Impact” with Morgan Freeman–as we all know, a friggin meteor hit the planet and he was left to pick up the friggin pieces.

The article goes on to quote another Pope of Blackness Tavis Smiley who said:

If people think Obama being elected is the crescendo, they’ll be disappointed,” said talk show host Tavis Smiley. “That’s when the real work begins.”

“I’m not sure people have considered, in the euphoria and jubilation and excitement, the fishbowl Obama will be in,” Smiley said. “How everything he does for black people, he runs the risk of being accused of being tribal.”

Well, today, as the polls are still opening and as lines at precincts across the country snake about gymnasiums and churches and rec centers, the question on most black folks minds is really about what to feel later on this evening or tomorrow if we choose to go to sleep.  It’s really that pivotal Martin Luther King question–”Where do we go from here?”

Frankly, I’m a bit concerned because I personally know some black people who are willing to cry foul if Obama doesn’t win.  I’m not going to make that call unless it’s necessary.  I didn’t feel that was the case in 2004 when Kerry lost, even with some disputed Ohio votes.  I’m quite sure if the Democratic National Party and Obama’s campaign feel the need to contest the election results they will–they don’t need the help of the nameless Negroville’s throughout this country’s major urban centers rioting on his behalf.

It’s going to be a close race regardless and we’ll be up late into tonight, hopefully, watching the results, but alas, I have a study group at 6pm on Koine Greek–pray for me church.

What do you think Black America’s response is going to be tonight–win or lose?  What do think Black America’s response should be–win or lose.

Keep it uppity and keep it truthfully radical, JLL

Those who waited in line at the Adamsville Recreation Center in Southwest Atlanta last week for early voting.

This is an email that I’m sure most of you got some time last week, and if you didn’t here it is:

If Obama actually wins this thing by the end of tonight, there will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be afraid that an Obama presidency will usher in the end of days.  They’ll be watching us on November 5th (the day after the election) for “signs of the end” times.  To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid – at least for the first few days:

1)       No crying, hugging or shouting “Thank you, Lord” -  at least not in public.

2)       No high-fives – at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses.

3)       No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters.

4)       No calling in sick on November 5th [tomorrow].  They’ll get nervous if too many of us don’t show up.

5)       We’re allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing, just try to keep from grinning hard.

6)        No singing loudly, “We’ve Come This Far By Faith”  (it WILL be acceptable to hum softly).

7)        No bringing barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chitterlings AT ALL!  This may make us seem too ethnic.)

8)        No leaving Kool-aid packages at the water fountain.

9)        No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement.)

10)      Please no “Moving On Up” theme song music from The Jeffersons  (we are going to try to remain humble.)

I may have a lot of sucessive posts today depending just how the day progresses.  I actually have a Greek study session later on today at 6pm to 8:30.  I doubt seriously I may go to an election night party, we’ll see how it goes.  What I am NOT going to is the Fool Fest Watch-night style service Ebenezer is throwing over on Auburn Street where they’re going to march over to the graves of Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King.

?!?!?!?!?!?!

I mean, is that not some sort of weird juxtaposition?  I mean it’s one thing to do it on April 4ths but, on the day where we’re expecting to celebrate life or something how you just gon go visit a dead person.  I think being the church is the most appropriate place to be if one feels the spiritual need to be attached–gravesite, No, I’ll pass.

But of course clearly the bastion of mediocrity that is Warren Ballentine just thinks that’s the best idea since sliced bread.  I mean, Al Sharpton is on board with it to, but meh, that’s something civil rights people would do.  Seriously, could you a cadre of people my age lining up to walk over there later on tonight?   But, I guess if you do, let me know how it goes I won’t be in the number.

Well, stay tuned if I don’t do anything, rest assured I’ll have a blog post for tomorrow, lol.

Keep it uppity and keep it truthfully radical, JLL